'Paperbacked nightmares' is the title of dreams and stories that have entered my mind upon waking up. These are usually full of unusual curiosities of monsters, ghouls and twisted perspectives of the subconscious' perspective on the happenings of day to day life.
although these are personal to me they are also an artistic outlet that I wish to show people as this too is informative in the creative process
especially when considering the mental health implications.
select one of the titles below to begin
The Monster Door
I was a long scrawling thing, not human but something that could be considered close to one, I could walk upright like a normal person but could walk faster on all fours almost like a giraffe like except no fur just dirty flaky blood stained skin. It was not quite night, possibly a twilight like time of day, and I lived in a relatively high apartment complex, a naturally dark and run down apartment with 2 other ‘people’. We lived below a creature that was much larger and louder than us just by the banging and crashing that came from above (it sounded like a caged animal, slamming its body into the walls to get out.) we were all attempting to accomplish something ( but for the life of me i can't remember what.) There was an average human (by our standards of normal) he was black bald, walked on two legs and knew a lot about what we were trying to do. The second was an average woman who had little to no features. I can't remember her skin tone or her voice just that she was small and had long brown almost black hair.
There was a door at the end of our corridor which appeared to go directly into the neighbours apartment yet when you opened the door it would instead access a different place entirely, the thought of the person touching the door at the time would turn the location into whatever their emotions, wants, desires and fears were.
The woman walked in and walked out shapeless almost as if you'd forget her if she wasn't interacting with you. I touched the door and walked in and out came a monster. But upon exiting the door there was another version of me waiting with the other two talking to me as if I was meant to have known the conversation up to that point, telling me that “there's something that we need to do.” Upon stepping closer to myself I appeared to dissolve further from my monster form. My neck wriggled like a worm caught out in the open and my arms, legs and torso dissolved till there was a large long mouth, neck and blob that appeared to be a stomach/gullet of some kind.
-Dream cut off-
-misunderstanding dream begins-
-Dream begins again-
I was in the same building as before I melted into a disgusting mess, and surrounded by identical copies of myself each making direct eye contact with me, almost as if I just zoned out while they were talking and they noticed it. These alternate versions had their own personality, and were talking over each other about a threat of some kind. I wasn't too sure what they were talking about let alone thinking, but we ended up running through what seemed like a forest. It was dark, I couldn't tell if it was night and the floor rustled all around us like autumn leaves. There were these tall dark shapes that we would run by that appeared to hold up the night sky. I believed them to be trees but they seemed to literally hold the stars in place above us.
We were running in and out of these shapes as if they were trees, on all fours much like a wolf would if they were hunting something, our arms grew thin and scrawny, our legs gangly and awkward but still we ran almost galloping as a herd of deformities. As time went on our strange galloping turned into a type of hunt as we ended up catching things in this ‘forest’ . I wasn't sure what they were as I was one of the few at the back of the pack of 'me’s'. Because all that was left when it reached me was bloody entrails, and dark red streaks trailing behind the path that all of us were running down. The bloody versions that caught something at the head of the pack moved to the back where I was running. They were further deformed extended throats holding the weight of the prey they caught their mouths extended behind their non-existent ears and the creatures they killed appeared to deform them further, almost becoming a part of them.
I felt happy but that was mostly due to adrenaline and unnerved by the sight of my forms twisting into these beings, the ones at the back gestured for me to move forward with a dead eyed gaze, until I was at the head of the pack leading them. But not before I heard the wet thuds and muffled distant sounds of whatever our prey was. By the time I took the first few steps at the head of the pack, the running ceased, no more wet thuds behind us or hands and feet hitting the floor, nothing, it was still and silent.. Almost as if a switch was flipped, we turned round almost as if we weren't biological and walked back to the apartment, spitting out our mouthfuls of meat into a bowl the size of one of the rooms when we got back.
The bowl quickly filled with blood, viscera and strips of flesh as we all huddled around the bowl like some demented cult of witches. As if the sun just suddenly rose there was a bright light in our dark and dingy room lighting up other tattered curtains and casting the shadows back almost to the point it was a single line in the corner of the room. It seemed to be the police, which for some reason cast a sense of confusion over me as looking down from the apartment complex it was almost the height of the limit of the sky. Breaking through this confusion they called out my name, which shook me as I felt I hadn't heard it in a very long time that it almost sounded alien to me, they told me they wanted the door, they knew who I was, not the monster in the dream but the person having the dream.
They were in this massive helicopter/jet type thing that hovered high in the air, telling me to stop destroying their world through the speakers in the vehicle. They were just outside our large window the size of the wall. The other 'me’s' cowered from the light and started to all point towards the bowl telling me to “eat from the bowl” as their skin seemed to wheeze and singe from the intensity of the light. I turned around confused staring at the bowl unaffected by the beams of light almost as if i had never seen the bloody process of its creation, that was until a single beam of light from illuminated the bowl enough for me to see the true nature of the broth, as numerous faces contorted in solemn expressions were floating amongst the dark red. Almost in a knee jerk reaction I reached for the light switch and flicked it on fast, the room was stained yellow, the walls packed with filth and almost oozing and writhing with small creatures. The other versions of me were almost mannequin-esk, plastic yet living and pulsating, their hands were blood stained orange pores highlighted by the black packed into them, and crimson running down their chin to their impossibly long throat, the eyes sunken to the back of their skulls and a mouths that stretched into a puppet smile.
The bowl now highlighted by the room's light showed the nature of the horror inside faces slipping off of skulls and matter from various organs making a casserole on monstrous qualities.
One of the 'me’s' slunk up to the bowl and started to chew and slurp the substance, upon doing this the others piled in and started to fight over it. I ran away from this room seeing the carnage that was unfolding and took solitude in my roommates room, where he spoke to me and told me to go through the door again, I asked him to go through it with me as i didn't want to be alone again, but he just told me that there isn't anything he wanted so he wouldn't be able to go through it. Reluctantly we both left the room in hopes of reaching the door without either the other 'me's' or the police detecting us. This plan was immediately dashed as exiting the room we were all waiting for us just outside the door.
They all appeared to recognise the person i was with and all called for him at the same time, however it wasn't all the same name yet all the same tone they called “ ben, Dan, him, you! Adam, Robert, Paul” etc in unison. They felt all correct as this man had all of the names yet none of them fit all at once. They suddenly became hostile so I pushed the man with many names through the door to save him from myself. His skin went from black to white to clear to glowing upon stepping through the threshold of the door frame, he turned and smiled, mouthed some words that didn't make any sound then pulled me through the door too. I was hit with the sound of bells, a floating feeling and a slight prickling, then I woke up.